HOW TO DEAL WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AS A NIGERIAN

You're not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts

at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a

character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are crazy,

or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more

pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems

overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with

time and support, you can overcome your problems and

the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

I'm having suicidal thoughts, what do

I need to know?

No matter how much pain you’re experiencing right now,

you’re not alone. Some of the finest, most admired,

needed, and talented people have been where you are

now. Many of us have thought about taking our own

lives when we’ve felt overwhelmed by depression and

devoid of all hope. But the pain of depression can be

treated and hope can be renewed. No matter what your

situation, there are people who need you, places where

you can make a difference, and experiences that can

remind you that life is worth living. It takes real courage

to face death and step back from the brink. You can

use that courage to face life, to learn coping skills for

overcoming depression, and for finding the strength to

keep going. Remember:

1. Your emotions are not fixed - they are constantly

changing. How you feel today may not be the

same as how you felt yesterday or how you'll feel

tomorrow or next week.

2. Your absense would create grief and anguish in

the lives of friends and loved ones.

3. There are many things you can still accomplish in

your life.

4. There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life

that have the ability to delight and lift you - and

that you would miss.

5. Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is

equal to your ability to experience distressing

emotions.

Why do I feel suicidal?

Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of

suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each

one of us, and the ability to cope with the pain differs

from person to person. We are all different. There are,

however, some common causes that may lead us to

experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Why suicide can seem like the only option

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide,

it is not that other solutions don’t exist, but rather that

you are currently unable to see them. The intense

emotional pain that you’re experiencing right now can

distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see

possible solutions to problems, or to connect with those

who can offer support. Therapists, counselors, friends or

loved ones can help you to see solutions that otherwise

may not be apparent to you. Give them a chance to

help.

A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary

Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness

will never end, it is important to realize that crises are

usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings

change, unexpected positive events occur. Remember:

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary

problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to

change and the pain to subside.

Even problems that seem hopeless have solutions

Mental health conditions such

as depression , schizophrenia , and bipolar disorder are

all treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and

medication. Most people who seek help can improve

their situation and recover. Even if you have received

treatment for a disorder before, or if you’ve already

made attempts to solve your problems, know that it’s

often necessary to try different approaches before

finding the right solution or combination of solutions.

When medication is prescribed, for example, finding the

right dosage often requires an ongoing process of

adjustment. Don’t give up before you’ve found the

solution that works for you. Virtually all problems can

be treated or resolved.

Take these immediate actions

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give

yourself some distance between thoughts and action.

Make a promise to yourself: "I will wait 24 hours and

won't do anything drastic during that time." Or, wait a

week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your

suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality.

There’s is no deadline, no one's pushing you to act on

these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some

distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal

action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have

taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use

nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless

or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as

pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do

so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are

thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to

someone who can return them to you one day at a time

as you need them.

Step #4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to

yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with

suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with

someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend,

therapist, member of the clergy, teacher, family doctor,

coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a

helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know

how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or

embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if

the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to

understand, try someone else. Just talking about how

you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the

pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to

cope.

Step #5: Take hope - people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now

manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this.

There is a very good chance that you are going to live

through these feelings, no matter how much self-

loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently

experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and

don’t try to go it alone.

Reaching out for help

Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, there are many

people who want to support you during this difficult

time. Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised

yourself 24 hours or a week in step #1 above, use that

time to tell someone what's going on with you. Talk to

someone who won't try to argue about how you feel,

judge you, or tell you to just "snap out of it." Find

someone who will simply listen and be there for you.

It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as it’s someone you

trust and who is likely to listen with compassion and

acceptance.

How to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts

Even when you’ve decided who you can trust to talk to,

admitting your suicidal thoughts to another person can

be difficult.

Tell the person exactly what you are telling

yourself. If you have a suicide plan, explain it to

them.

Phrases such as, ‘I can't take it anymore’ or ‘I’m

done’ are vague and do not illustrate how serious

things really are. Tell the person you trust that

you are thinking about suicide.

If it is too difficult for you to talk about, try

writing it down and handing a note to the person

you trust. Or send them an email or text and sit

with them while they read it.

What if you don't feel understood?

If the first person you reached out to doesn’t seem to

understand, tell someone else or call a suicide crisis

helpline. Don’t let a bad experience stop you from

finding someone who can help