3 tips for a successful relationship
1. Compromise
Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. If you find yourself not giving
very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back,
you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are
giving.
For instance, couples sometimes mistakenly believe that “love” will help them deal with
any issue that comes up, and that if the other person truly loved you, they would just
do as you ask. But people are independent with their own unique needs and
personalities. Just because we found someone we want to spend our lives with
doesn’t mean we give up our own identity in the process.
2. Communicate
Relationships live and die not by the sword, but by the amount of discussion. If two
people can’t find a way to openly and honestly communicate their needs and feelings
to one another, the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance long-term. Couples
must find a way to communicate regularly, openly, and directly.
This doesn’t mean waiting for an argument to tell your significant other how much he
bothers you with his throwing his clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. It means
telling him when you feel the need to, and to do so in a manner that is respectful but
assertive.
3. Choose Your Battles Carefully
After marriage or when two people move in together, couples tend to discover pretty
much the same thing no matter who they are – that they are two different people and
living together is harder than anyone ever told them. Love conquers a lot of things, but
it is no match for living day-in and day-out with another human being (especially if
you’ve spent years on your own).
Prepare yourself for this challenge by choosing what arguments you want to turn into a
full blown battle. For instance, do you really want to start a fight over the toothpaste
cap or how clean the shower is? Or would you rather reserve your energy for the
discussions over finances, kids, and career paths (you know, the things that might
really matter to a person). Too many couples fight and bicker over the dumbest
things, especially when put into context of issues of true importance.
Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. If you find yourself not giving
very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back,
you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are
giving.
For instance, couples sometimes mistakenly believe that “love” will help them deal with
any issue that comes up, and that if the other person truly loved you, they would just
do as you ask. But people are independent with their own unique needs and
personalities. Just because we found someone we want to spend our lives with
doesn’t mean we give up our own identity in the process.
2. Communicate
Relationships live and die not by the sword, but by the amount of discussion. If two
people can’t find a way to openly and honestly communicate their needs and feelings
to one another, the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance long-term. Couples
must find a way to communicate regularly, openly, and directly.
This doesn’t mean waiting for an argument to tell your significant other how much he
bothers you with his throwing his clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. It means
telling him when you feel the need to, and to do so in a manner that is respectful but
assertive.
3. Choose Your Battles Carefully
After marriage or when two people move in together, couples tend to discover pretty
much the same thing no matter who they are – that they are two different people and
living together is harder than anyone ever told them. Love conquers a lot of things, but
it is no match for living day-in and day-out with another human being (especially if
you’ve spent years on your own).
Prepare yourself for this challenge by choosing what arguments you want to turn into a
full blown battle. For instance, do you really want to start a fight over the toothpaste
cap or how clean the shower is? Or would you rather reserve your energy for the
discussions over finances, kids, and career paths (you know, the things that might
really matter to a person). Too many couples fight and bicker over the dumbest
things, especially when put into context of issues of true importance.
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